DNR - JTI: Retail Edition.

As usual, credit for "DNR - JTI" ("Do not respond, just take it") goes to the fabulous Mollie Erickson whose idea I totally plagiarized. 

When Jordan and I moved to Asheville in the summer of 2015, I had no jobs and no friends. I decided to take a part-time gig at a national retail chain (whose name I can't share for legal reasons -- theirs, not mine). I'd never worked retail, and I'd always kind of wanted to.

I've been working there almost a year and a half. I've learned some things. And I've seen some things. And today, I'm gonna share. 

Dear Shrill Woman Bossing Your Husband Around,
Hi. Over here! Right. I've been fifteen feet away from you for the past few minutes and have heard every single marching order you've yelled at this poor man. I think the whole store has overheard, actually. We really don't need to know that you think your husband lacks a butt to hold his pants up because he's "so weirdly shaped, like a potato with toothpicks." Also, please stop digging into the back o his pants to see what size they are. You literally have both your hands in the man's pants. We're all RIGHT HERE. DNR - JTI. 

Dear Middle Aged White Women,
You've done a really good job creating witch hunts about people of other races and ages being thieves, but now I know better. YOU are the thieves. I see you casually perusing the sale section, eyes darting around, before you stuff that bangle into your purse. I SEE YOU. I know what you're doing when you take too long in the fitting room. We see the tags you've cut out all over the floor. You assume no one would ever suspect you. Middle aged White women, you've pulled the wool over the world's eyes. But NOT ME. Prepare to be profiled. DNR - JTI. 

Dear Woman in the Fitting Room,
Are you doing okay in there? Anything else I can get you? OH. OH. Oh my goodness. You've opened the door and you're pants-less. And you're 90. You're now in the middle of the store yelling and asking why no one came to check on your sooner. You're having an Elaine Stritch moment and you're burning my retinas. Back into the fitting room with you. Shhhh. DNR - JTI. 

Dear Adult Man Who is Sweating Profusely and Shifting his Weight from Side to Side,
Yeah, we have a bathroom. Yikes, dude. Come on. DNR - JTI. 

Dear Teenager Messing Up a Perfect Pile of Sweaters,
I know you just saw me fold those. I know you did. I watched you watch me. And now you've not only knocked the stack over, you're going through each individual sweater, holding it up, and checking it for size. Cut the crap. You're not buying a sweater. You're 14 and you're carrying a skateboard. GET OUTTA HERE, KID. DNR - JTI. 

Dear Disgruntled Customer,
When you asked me to get different sizes of shoes for you to try on, it was my pleasure. Truly. It's my job.  When, however, after five tries, you decided that you "just aren't going to pay that much for flats," it got a bit irritating. On a similar note, I neither designed nor priced these shoes, so your disapproving glances are wasted on me. Hope you find what you're looking for, Cinderella. DNR - JTI. 

Dear Window Shoppers,
UGGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGGGGGGGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH. DNR - JTI.

Dear Well-Intentioned Man,
It is so supremely thoughtful that you are going to buy your wife a gift with the leftover money from the return you just made. We've got some beautiful jewelry and some nice silk tops. But the spaghetti strap XXS black crushed velvet peplum top that you've chosen, while certainly fashionable, is going to miss the mark with your 45-year old wife who just had a baby and you told me is 5'11. I'm trying to help, here. Nope? Gonna buy it anyway? Mmk. DNR - JTI. 

Dear That Man's Wife,
Got a return for us? Yeah. I know. I tried to tell him. Let me show you the jewelry. DNR - JTI. 

5 Shows I Started, 4 I Dropped

Jordan and I made the decision when we got married to opt out of having cable. We have Netflix, Hulu, and HBO, and we feel like we have access to everything we need to watch. Here in the age of instant streaming, it's easy for me to sit down in front of the computer and mindlessly watch something for hours. But I'm resolved not to do that this year, and I've been slowly paring down my television choices so that they're more intentional. 

Don't worry - I'm still watching The Bachelor. God help us. 

So, beginning with the shows I stopped watching: 

Narcos

Available on Netflix.

I don't have a grand explanation for this choice besides that season two of Narcos just didn't grab me in the same way that the first season did. S1 of this Netflix original was so compelling and watchable, albeit violent and sometimes a little upsetting. The acting was fantastic and, as someone who is only peripherally familiar with the story of Pablo Escobar, it was compelling and kept me on the edge of my seat. But S2E1 just didn't deliver. We watched an episode when the new season dropped and then genuinely forgot about it. Maybe we'll return sometime in 2017, but I doubt it. 

Bloodline

Available on Netflix.

This was another great, promising Netflix original whose second season just missed the mark. Bloodline, though, was different - I actively disliked this second season, rather than being just ambivalent about it, as with Narcos. SPOILERS AHEAD - At the end of S1, Danny Rayburn, arguably the most interesting character, is murdered by his siblings. S2 was so overwrought and dark as the remaining Rayburn children try to cover their crime - it was all drama furrowed brows and no substance. Pass.

Keeping Up With The Kardashians

I don't even know what channel this comes on. 

Well, I finally did it. As a latecomer to KUWTK (I started watching 2 years ago), this was easy to give up. I made a decision last year that I wasn't going to support anything to do with the Kardashian/West clan, including clicking on random Buzzfeed articles written about them or reading their tweets. I unfollowed them on Instagram, and this was the last piece of the puzzle. Because I can only vote with my choices, right? Either way, as the drama has gotten even more ridiculous than usual, I have never been happier to NOT be Keeping Up. 

unREAL

Available on Lifetime.

This was the most disappointing for me. unREAL was a brilliantly conceived show, designed as a mock-The Bachelor and created by a former assistant director of ABC's juggernaut reality series. While the first season was twisted, edgy, and definitely pushed the boundaries, the second season did all that and more, except with the first Black "suitor" (AKA bachelor) at the helm. SPOILERS AHEAD: the season ended with a police shootout between the Black contestant and his manager, who is also Black. unREAL may be a dark satire, but this was all too real and made viewers across the nation say, "Too soon." I appreciate what they were trying to do in the way of relevant and timely social commentary, but they had plenty of juicy subject matter (feminism, how women are treated in positions of power, what The Bachelor says about its viewers, what people are willing to do for fame) without dipping their toes into this particular pool. I'm not arguing those issues shouldn't be brought to light; I am arguing that dropping them in as a sensationalist plot point on a show about reality television is in poor taste. So sad to bid adieu to this show whose first season I was wild about. 

Moving on to shows I've picked up this year: 

Black Mirror

Available on Netflix.

Black Mirror and I have a complicated relationship. Unlike many Netflix shows, it's not binge-able. I watch one episode every two weeks or so. After turning the S1E1 off mid-episode because I was so horrified, I was reticent to give it another shot; I'm so glad I did. Since then, I've only watched two episodes - S3E1 starring Bryce Dallas Howard and S3E4, titled San Junipero. This cutting edge imagination of a not-too-distant future will pull you in, make you think, and challenge the way you see the world. Because it's a mini-series, you can watch each episode without having seen any before or after. It really is a beautifully shot, well-acted, INCREDIBLY written show. Give it a shot. 

Fargo

Available on Hulu.

And I've only seen one season. Jordan and I watched Billy Bob Thornton's season of this show on Hulu and were basically riveted to the television. An adaptation of the Coen brothers' movie of the same name, this show is show in film quality and you'll forget you're watching TV. I don't want to say too much in the way of describing it to save the fabulous plot for you, but trust me - this one's a must. 

Westworld

Available on HBO.

Okay okay, so I haven't technically started this one yet. But all my smartest friends are in love with it, and Jordan and I plan to start next week. So it kind of counts, right? 

Divorce

Available on HBO.

If you know anything about me, you know that SJP is my icon in all things. This new HBO show starring SJP and Thomas Hayden Church (who I remember best from George of the Jungle as Lyle - where are my 90's kids at?) explores the story of a couple navigating a divorce in all its stages; politeness, acceptance, revelation, honesty, catharsis, rage, ambivalence. I'm not totally sold on it, but I'm going to keep watching it because #SJP. I'll at least give it another season. 

This Is Us

Available on Hulu.

DAMN YOU, THIS IS US. I had a friend text me a few months back and insist that I start watching this show. I told her that I was giving up crappy TV for the most part, and she told me that was an unacceptable answer and I had to at least give it one episode. So did, and now I'm 100% in. This Is Us feels like one of those shows that is too good to be true and will lose its magic after the first season, but I'm going to be there to see it because I am TOTALLY HOOKED. I don't want to say too much, but watch the first episode all the way through and if you're not intrigued, I'll pay you $10. Plus we get to watch hottie HOT Milo Ventimiglia (Jess from Gilmore Girls) and the brilliant Sterling K. Brown (who wowed me in American Crime Story: The People vs. OJ Simpson).

---

SO.What about you? What TV have you bailed on, what are you still watching, and what are you looking to start? 

Top 5 Worst Christmas Songs Ever.

Today on HuffPo, check out my definitive list of the all-time WORST Christmas songs on the radio. 

The Good, the Bad, the Last Four Words.

A note: This piece explicitly lists several major plot points. If ya don't wanna know, run away.

As I watched the most recent Netflix juggernaut, Gilmore Girls: A Year In The Life, I found myself in a familiar pickle. When it's in season, I blog about The Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise. While watching, I have to constantly decide which route to take. Should I:

1. Watch with a critical eye, placing this show in the real world and analyzing people's behaviors through a practical lens? Or
2. Sit back, turn off my brain, and let the ridiculousness wash over me?

Spoiler: it is hard for me to turn my brain off. Not because I'm a smarty, but because I am an analytical hamster wheel. I can't "just" anything. I am a judger. It's what helps me be a good observational writer, but it also means that it's tough to enjoy things that are meant to be just enjoyed. 

So let me say upfront: If you fall into Category #2, you will not like this piece, which picks apart lots of details in a show you probably found delightful. Also, I am jealous of you. 

I am a Category #1 person. And that made the Gilmore Girls revival problematic for me. I tried to make it work, but ultimately, I couldn't shake this feeling:

It wasn't great. 

I think the easiest way to run it down will be to actually run it down. I took four pages of notes in a Moleskin while watching. (I told you, I'm a nightmare). 

1. Too much foam, not enough beer. 

When I heard that we were going to get four 90-minute episodes to sink our collective teeth into, I was very excited. I bet you were, too. Now, having watched them all, I wish we'd been given one 2-hour episode chock full of plot. 

The upside of creating four separate episodes was that we got to check in with all of our favorite characters. The downside is that, in-between all those meet-cutes, they had to fill time. And boy, did they. 

Gilmore Girls was a show with a lot of zany, unrealistic pieces, but also a show with a lot of substance. It told the real stories of women (albeit mostly white women), their relationships with each other, themselves; it tackled hard subjects like sex, dating, finding your purpose, disappointing your family. Gilmore Girls was like an M&M: the ratio of candy coating to substance was 4:1. The re-boot, though, was like a disappointing jelly-filled doughnut: all sticky pastry and a barely-there filling. When they delivered, they delivered (see: Emily Gilmore's entire storyline). But they didn't deliver often enough. 

This problem really needs subcategories, so here we go. 

(Have you stopped reading yet? I get it.) 

A. Minor characters. 

Part of the charm of Stars Hollow is that it's filled with whimsical, eccentric townspeople, while Rory and Lorelai serve as the audience's points of access into that world. As a viewer of the series, I loved getting glimpses into these characters' lives - what was going on with Morey and Babette? What crazy hijinks had Kirk gotten himself into? Who was Mrs. Kim terrorizing now? 

The reason that worked is because those glimpses were anecdotal. There weren't entire storylines built around them. The fact that Michel, previously a total caricature of a human whose main goals were to count calories and be a general pain in the ass, was developed into a main character in this re-boot, is silly. Though he and Lorelai had the occasional tender moment, he was not her best friend. To characterize him as her "Paris" was re-writing history and badly making up for the fact that Lorelai's real best friend, Sookie, was conspicuously missing from the story. 

When it went well, it went very well: Kirk, Paris, and Taylor all "kept" beautifully over the years. These three, particularly Paris, who was flawlessly played by Liza Weil, were just as charming and intense as I remember. But the reason they worked is because these characters felt familiar to us; they were already caricatures of themselves in the series, and when we met up with them again, they were still those people. The reverse (trying to make Michel, a cartoon, into a suddenly sympathetic character with a backstory, husband, job opportunity, and child on the way), was a failure.  

B. Plots to nowhere 

Several times, we were taken on a Mr. Toad's Wild Ride of irrelevant sub-plots that didn't seem to serve the story in any real way, other than to fill time.  

• What is the motivation for people to stand in line?? (Apparently to cram in a lot of cameos and provide the audience with a possible second paternity option for Rory's child!) 

• Will Lorelai and Rory deliver the Star Hollow Gazette in time?! (Breaking: It didn't matter, and they never cared about it again!) 

• Will Luke agree to a surrogate? (Who cares? We just needed a way to get Paris into the script!) 

• When will Luke's diner get franchised? (Never, and that conversation only served as yet another thing Luke and Lorelai weren't sharing with each other!) 

• Is Lorelai going to make it to the Wild trail? (No, and they beat this extended metaphor 'til it was dead as a doornail!) 

• And WHERE THE HELL IS RORY'S UNDERWEAR?! (She actually goes months without it! Not a joke!) 

Of course, the most egregious and painful: The Stars Hollow FREAKIN' Musical. Y'all. 18 minutes (including the debrief after the show) of pure, unnecessary foolishness.  Though the performers were great (Sutton Foster and Christian Borle of Broadway fame), what…and I mean this sincerely…was that? And the additional song at the end of "Summer," where the female singer literally reaches toward Lorelai while singing, "I'm breaking right now?” Come on, Amy Sherman-Palladino. You're better than this. That was precious time to viewers, and it was squandered.

Rory. 

I've read several think pieces about with some pithy title like, "Rory Gilmore Has Always Been Awful," citing the same handful of talking points about some of Rory's not-so-savory moments on the series (the fight with Lorelai, living with Emily and Richard, sex with married Dean, ignorance to her own massive privilege), and claiming that we should've seen her character's demise coming.

But if we're going to play that game, then let's play it.

Lorelai got engaged to her daughter's high school teacher, then broke the news that the engagement was off by bursting into her daughter's room in the middle of the night and announcing that the two of them were going on a road trip. She got engaged to Luke. Broke that off. Married Rory's father on a whim. Divorce. Treated her mother and best friend horribly. 

The point I'm trying to make is that every character we encounter (both fictional and real) has had their fair share of poor choices and triumphant moments. To argue that Rory's behavior in this re-boot solidifies her status as a snooty, selfish, wreck is to overlook both her virtues and similar unpleasant qualities of the other principles. Each of these characters (particularly Emily, Lorelai, Richard, and Rory) has lots of wonderful AND lots of awful traits. That's what makes them interesting, dynamic. 

But the Rory we know would never string a perfectly nice, albeit boring and apparently very forgiving, guy along for an entire year while secretly sleeping with her engaged ex-boyfriend. Not that she hasn't been the subject of an extra-marital affair before – she has. But that affair with Dean was clearly a low point. 32-year-old Rory carelessly cheating with someone who is also cheating just doesn't ring true. 

Our Rory was independent, ambitious, driven, kind, thoughtful, introspective, and sharp as a damn tack. The Rory we got here was aimless, casual, scattered, unreliable, and sometimes downright selfish.

The silver lining here was that we did get a glimpse of the "old" Rory in the second half of "Fall," as she broke it off for good with Logan and passionately wrote the first three chapters of her new book. The bad news is that we had to wait for five hours to see her again. 

Of course, there were winning moments. There were moments that GG fans everywhere gobbled up with total satisfaction and veracity. 

Among them:

• The fact that the characters can finally swear. Emily Gilmore saying "bullshit" and "tits" was such a highlight. 

• Petal the pig. 

• Finally being casually introduced to "Mr. Kim," Lane's perpetually absent father. 

• Callbacks to fan favorites like the basket auction. 

• Michel is finally gay! And Taylor, surprisingly, isn't. 

• Luke feeding Paul Anka the steak and blowing on it in Lorelai's absence. 

• April's marijuana confession. 

• However irresponsible and unrealistic, the Life and Death Brigade sequence.

• Parenthood cameos galore.

• Logan.

• Logan shirtless.

• Dean.

• Jess.

• Rory and Lorelai's standing Jeep ride to her secret nuptials. 

• The song Luke and Lorelai get married to is being the same song that was playing while they shared their first dance: 

My favorite season was "Fall." We got so much in "Fall" that we'd been pining for: Christopher. Dean. Sookie. Colin and Finn. Lorelai's dreamy, town-square wedding (though it did bother me that Emily and Sookie weren't present). Lorelai's reconciliatory (and tear-jerking) phone call with Emily, telling the Richard story she should've told the night of his wake. Rory and Logan's tender goodbye, perfectly acted by Matt Czuchry. 

And Emily. Good God. Emily Gilmore's storyline was easily the most winning, realistic, and triumphant. ASP did a hell of a job writing for the unparalleled Kelly Bishop, who, somehow having not aged a day since the Season 7 finale, delivered a powerhouse performance and got her character the ending she deserved. 

As did Lorelai. How many sighs of relief were breathed throughout the world as Lorelai and Luke FINALLY, FINALLY ended up together? 

In the end, that's what makes Rory's storyline so unsatisfying. Everyone got their ending -- except Rory. Instead, she was handed a meandering, listless arc punctuated by a surprise pregnancy and a mystery father. To think that ASP had this "last four words" ending in mind for the original, 22-year-old Rory is even more disturbing. Sure, I get it: Logan is supposed to be Rory's Christopher; Jess, her Luke. But those stories aren't consistent with any of the people involved. Logan loved Rory deeply and was rejected by her. Jess loved Rory deeply and has an actually life outside of Stars Hollow. And Rory is an Ivy League graduate in her early thirties who...accidentally gets pregnant? Sure, it happens all the time. But not to Rory. 

At its heart, this re-boot isn't all bad. The key, though, is to switch gears when watching it. I was watching it like I used to watch the series - ready to encounter the kookiness, but, ultimately, expecting the majority of each season to be meaningful and compelling. It took me a while to figure out why I had such a hard time enjoying it, but that's the reason: I wanted substance, and I got froth.

Don't expect it to be the series. Expect cotton candy instead. And then, when you're surprised by a little nugget of solid gold storyline, you can be pleased instead of starving for it. 

That way, maybe you can really enjoy this last visit with our Gilmore Girls. 

Top 5 Gilmore Girls Characters

Recently, Jimmy Fallon revealed that he'd been marathoning Gilmore Girls for the first time in preparation for the November 25th. 

(By the way NOVEMBER 25TH IS SO CLOSE OMG OMG OMG I'M SO FREAKIN' EXCITED.) 

He ran down his Top 4 characters, excepting the actual Gilmore girls Lorelai and Rory (because, duh). In case you don't have time to watch it, his were 4. Taylor, 3. Luke, 2. Kirk, and 1. Paris. 

Solid list. Solid. He also revealed that he's #teamJess, which is fine, because he isn't even through season 4 yet. Give it time, my son. Give it time. 

SO, I decided I'd do a "5 Things" on this very subject. Along with excluding Lorelai and Rory, I'm also excluding Emily, who is technically a Gilmore girl and would also easily be in my top 5.

 5. Kirk. 

When you think about threads running consistently through the show, Kirk is one of those threads. He's had about 85,000 different jobs in Stars Hollow and is a staple of the kind of off-beat, but overall harmless, eccentricity of that town. Favorite Kirk moments of mine include his weird and creepy "evolution of man" dance at Miss Patty's anniversary show, and Luke and Lorelai's first kiss being interrupted by Kirk streaking down the stairs with night terrors. Not to mention that Sean Gunn, the actor who plays Kirk, is seriously funny and committed to all his physical comedy gags. That guy knows how to play a weirdo really well. 

4. Logan. 

"And that's how we do it at THE DAILY NEWS!" One of my all-time favorite moments in the series. Listen, don't get me wrong - all the boyfriends served their purpose at the time they were supposed to. We just happened to catch Logan in a particularly adult season of his life, so it's not really a fair fight. At this point, Jess had turned out to be a decent person, so I get it. Jess doesn't suck either. But Logan's Logan. Love how he loves Rory. LOVE that he'll be back in the re-boot. For more on why Logan is the best, click here. 

3. Paris. 

Paris has all the qualities of an unredeemable character with one special quality that keeps us from hating her: we are her. Everyone has a little Paris in them - whether it's her totally inflated sense of self, her ruthless ambition, her bossiness, her suspicion that everyone is out to get her, her impatience - on our worst days, we all have one or more of these traits. Which is why it's so satisfying to see a character who is totally, unapologetically herself in every situation. And for all her undesirable moments, she's the only peer who can keep pace with Rory. Favorite Paris moments: her slovenly speech after getting rejected from Harvard, her pitch that "everything looks better in leopard," and her entire relationship with Doyle. 

2. Sookie. 

Of course we can't leave this list without Melissa McCarthy! Who knew that from Sookie St. James, we'd get that character in Bridesmaids? Thank you, Gilmore Girls, for launching this career. Seriously though, Sookie is such a long-suffering friend. And I mean that sincerely - Lorelai tends to be kind of a condescending ass to Sookie. She's so precious and bubbly, and, once again, we have to give some props to Melissa McCarthy for the insane physical comedy chops. Favorite Sookie moments include her date with Jackson's cousin Roon, she and Jackson smuggling bags of weed through the town, and her collaboration with Luke to throw the going away party for Rory. 

1. Richard. 

Why am I crying?!?!?! 

Ugh. Okay. I mean, this would be the case whether or not sweet Edward Herrmann had died. Richard and Emily are my favorite non-Rory and Lorelai characters for many reasons. I think maybe it's because, as the oldest grandchild on both sides, I've gotten to watch my own grandfathers go through a similar evolution to Richard's: initially, not entirely sure how to handle young children/girls again; eventually, softer-hearted than their wives. Richard loves Rory and Lorelai so much that it actually hurts me to watch. Favorite moments include "only prostitutes have two glasses of wine at lunch," his speech to Lorelai in the last episode, him enveloping Rory in a hug when she comes to see him after quitting Yale...basically everything he ever did. 

OH CRAP I FORGOT LUKE. Okay stick Luke in there somewhere. Damn. This is harder than I thought. 

How excited are we, people!? It's almost here. We've been waiting so long and it's SO CLOSE. Just a few more days. 

Us on Black Friday while the rest of the world is shopping: 

Beauty and the Beast Trailer

Let me start by saying that yes - there are a million things related to the election we could talk about. But my last three posts have been about the election, and this isn't a political blog. Gotta talk about other things from time to time. 

And what better thing to talk about than a video that had me in tears yesterday? 

In case you've been living under a Disney rock, Beauty and the Beast has been re-made into a live action movie with Emma Watson perfectly cast as Belle. 

Belle is, as many of you know, my favorite Disney princess by about a thousand miles. This is my favorite Disney movie of all time. I had a reeeeeeeeally high bar for what the new version should look like, and I wasn't disappointed. Not even a little bit. 

My original idea for this post was to do a shot-for-shot comparison of the trailer to the old animated movie, but upon logging into Facebook this morning, I discovered that my friends over at moviepilot.com (we're not friends, I'm just trying to sound cool) had already done that. So here's a tip of my hat to their fine work that I am about to steal and comment on. 

First, the trailer by itself: 

RIGHT? RIGHT?? DID YOU DIE???? 

Okay I know. It's so good. Everything is perfect. But follow me, nerds, as we take it a step further. The video below will take you through the entire new trailer shot-for-shot with the original movie. 

EVEN BETTER, RIGHT?? 

Proof that the Internet can still be a wonder place. 

Let's talk some stills for a moment, shall we? 

In the new movie, it looks like Maurice gets locked up for picking a rose from the Beast's rosebushes. Great casting here, as this guy 100% looks like he'd wander onto an abandoned, spooky ass property and start messing around with things. 

AMAZING. There's something about seeing these things in live-action that gives the the movie new life. Sure, it's easy to imagine talking furniture and appliances when it's animated, much like it's easy to imagine talking animals or talking toys. But when Lumiere and Cogsworth really look like a candlestick and a clock, then they start TALKING?? Enchantment is the only word. I just gave myself goosebumps. I am SO EXCITED. 

Along those same lines, MRS. POTTS, YOU GUYS. How perfect is that?? They even nailed the frilly edge along the top of the pot! I can't!! 

Sidebar, I also love that it sounds like they're taking a lot of the original movie verbatim into the new one. It's every 90's girl's dream.

Nailed it. 

Okay but really, NAILED IT. How can a human being capture the exact expression of an animated character? How? Tell me. All I know is he did. 

Now for the ones that choked your girl up.

WHO didn't love this scene in the original?? This is basically every nerdy girl's dream situation. It's the most spectacular. Emma Watson gets all the good parts. Also, in the same way we miss the true magic of talking furniture, we forget that the Beast actually has straight-up horns growing out of his head until we see them on a real life version. 

But seriously, the grandeur of the castle, the kind of dusty-light-through-the-windows...everything about this new movie seems pitch-perfect. 

Me when this part of the trailer came on: 

I'm just overwhelmed and SO excited that it looks like they've gotten it so right. Every choice they made in terms of casting, costuming, set design - it's all transporting us to a real-life version of this world we all wish actually existed. This is the epitome of Disney magic. 

WHY MUST WE WAIT UNTIL MARCH?! 

What do you think?? Do you love it or do you love it? 

(If you don't love it you gotta go somewhere else). 

I knew it. You loved it.