Chris Harrison, Galentine's, Framing Britney Spears.

Heavy metal.

Woooo boy, Chris Harrison really whiffed an interview with Rachel Lindsay, a former Bachelorette and the first Black lead in the franchise’s history (which is still a wild sentence to type, since that happened within the last 5 years). Lindsay is now an anchor at the Extra news desk, so she had Harrison on to talk about the season and the new allegations coming out against one of the cast members, Rachael Kirkconnell.

I won’t delve into the craziness of it all except to briefly recap: Kirkconnell, who is white, is being accused of racist behavior. Allegedly, she’s of made fun of a classmate for “liking Black guys;” went to an Old South party at her college; dressed up in as an Indigenous person at a party. Harrison came in hot, clearly upset about the idea of “cancel culture” and how harshly the Internet has dealt with Kirkconnell in the last few weeks.

Of course, like with many things, the Internet mob has gone too far in some places, digging up Kirkconnell’s parents’ voting record and declaring that because they’re Republicans, she must be a racist. So he’s not wrong (even Lindsay agreed there).

That said, the things being discussed are relevant to the moment we’re in as a country - and particularly so, because the lead of this season is Matt James, the franchise’s first Black male lead.

I think this conversation is worth watching, because in many ways, this is a case study in what not to do as a white person when discussing this sort of stuff. And by the way - I’m coming from a place of great humility in saying this, as I myself have been schooled again and again on my own mis-steps (and will 100% make more in the course of my lifetime). While he references the “love,” “respect,” and “grace” in his relationship with Lindsay and off-camera, all we see as an audience is Harrison steam-rolling a Black woman in a conversation about race.

At one point in the interview, Lindsay expresses that she thinks the reason it’s become a big deal is that Kirkconnell hasn’t spoken out or given a statement, despite having had six weeks to do so. There is a marked tonal shift, and Harrison, visibly upset, responds:

“When do you jump in? When is the time? And who is Rachel Lindsay, and who is Chris Harrison, and who is whatever ‘woke police’ person out there - who are you? And I’ve heard this a lot: ‘I think she should ______,’ ‘I think he should _____,’ - who the hell are you? Who are you that you demand this?” (5:20ish minutes)

Later in the interview, Lindsay asks if the Bachelor franchise will make a statement about any of the allegations. Again, angry*, Harrison responds:

“I don’t think it is incumbent upon the Bachelor franchise to speak out on everything that everyone wants to hear about on social media. …We’re not in the business of dealing with every problem that you have. That’s not how this works. We don’t have the time of day to handle everything that comes up on social media.” (12ish minutes)

Maybe the worst moment is when he launches into a monologue about whether “erasing history” is a good or a bad idea, then talks about how we should “give people time” to make statements:

“The ‘woke police’ is out there and this poor girl Rachael, who has just been thrown to the lions - I don’t know how you are equipped when you’ve never done this before, to be ‘woke’ enough, to be eloquent enough, to be ready to handle this. My guess is, this woman needs a little time. …We don’t give people time to have some perspective and try to drink this in for a second, see how this affects their life, and then speak on it.” (5:30ish minutes)

Certainly, people should have a moment to acknowledge what they’ve done wrong and to change some behavior. But what Harrison is missing there is the impact these things have on Black people, who are never given the luxury of “time” to deal with it. And it’s especially tone-deaf to say this to Lindsay, who had to deal with an openly racist cast member…on her own season. Someone whose social media made that clear, and who should’ve been filtered out of the pool of candidates from the beginning.

To get into the technicalities, I think what we’re seeing here is Harrison being hamstrung by the fact that he can’t discuss that Kirkconnell won the season and can’t speak on anything because, typically, contestants don’t issue any kind of statement about what has happened on the show until it’s finished airing - an unspoken rule that saves the drama for The Women Tell All or After The Final Rose, the only live shows within the season. I sense that his frustration is that she simply can’t address it, and so he’s stepping in as her proxy. He has a franchise to defend, and, to my ears, a winner to defend (why else would he be getting so worked up if Kirkconnell isn’t Matt’s final selection?).

BUT.

Even his salient points are muffled by the mis-steps he made in constantly talking over a Black woman about issues of race, making constant, sneering remarks about "woke-ness,” and an overall tonal failure. It stopped being about Kirkconnell and became about how, in having a conversation where he encourages the country to treat her with nuance and grace, Harrison exhibits neither.

The real star is here is Lindsay, who kept her cool completely, listened, and extended generosity to her friend, showing Harrison exactly what he should have been doing all along. Especially poignant to note that as a Black woman, and a would-be victim of Kirkconnell’s alleged racism, she’s the one being forced to care for the white person in the conversation.

It’s a great learning opportunity for all of us white people, and a reminder of how ugly we can look when our own overconfidence and defensiveness gets the better of us when we feel personally slighted.**

*And also if a woman had acted this angry and defensive the Internet would be treating her like she was unhinged.

It’s difficult to see how The Bachelor, a franchise that’s beloved, is going to survive when it’s already had a fair share of controversy surrounding sexual assault, racial misfires, and cyber-bullying in the extreme. It’ll have to be a major pivot, but how to do that without sacrificing the show’s core conceit? I really don’t know.

**A post-post note, updated Monday, 2/15: Chris Harrison has stepped aside from the franchise for an undisclosed amount of time. The issue is more complicated than I originally understood, and it’s clear that the thoughts Harrison expressed in this interview weren’t just flippant, but representative of more deeply held beliefs and biases that perpetuate systemic racism. He’s now issued two apologies and I hope for the best in his learning and experience moving forward as, hopefully, an advocate for anti-racism.

Indie pop.

On to happier things, like GALENTINE’S DAY ON SATURDAY!!! Y’all, Galentine’s has become a much bigger deal to me than Valentine’s. If you’re like me, Valentine’s Day is stuffed with all these weird expectations. You don’t want to be “that girl,” who expects a lot of frilly, frothy, cutesy stuff and a lot of attention, buuuut…aren’t you always slightly disappointed if you don’t at least get a bouquet of flowers? Anyone?

Jordan and I remedied this expectations death trap a while ago by declaring that Valentine’s Day was “pizza and board game night,” which is always really fun. But Galentine’s? Now that’s a holiday I can get excited about.

Galentine’s Day started on the show Parks and Recreation, where Leslie Knope, a feminist icon of joy and transformative optimism, founded February 13th as the day when we celebrate the women in our lives and what they’ve brought to the world.

I’m gathering (outdoors, distanced, and masked) on Saturday with a few of my nearest and dearest women to celebrate the joy that is female friendship. I hope you’ve got plans, even if it’s a group text where you name specifically what you love about each other.

GIRLS ARE GREAT! If you’re a Galentine reading this, I love you and I’m so glad you’re here. You bring so much to the table! Go eat a heart-shaped pizza to celebrate yourself!

Pop culture corner.

I, like many of you, watched Framing Britney Spears on Hulu this week. It’s an important watch, I think. There are so many elements that still ring true today, and so many ways the culture has shifted since the early aughts. For those of us who grew up with Britney as the queen she is, it’s chilling to see all the tabloid stuff laid bare. Especially for anyone who’s transitioned into motherhood, watching a 25-year-old new mom be hounded by paparazzi while battling postpartum depression in an extremely public way is truly devastating. The Justine Timberlake of it all and the constant conversation around her virginity was so gross - I wrote a little about that in an essay series I did on teenage sex and purity culture, which you can read here. Justice for Britney.

Part One of the RHSLC reunion was just. absolutely. everything. This franchise is giving me life. Thank you, Bravo. And thank you, Vanessa Bayer.

My follow recommendation for the week is a podcast! I know there are a lot of fellow Office fans out here. Have you listened to the Brian Baumgartner (AKA Kevin Malone) podcast “An Oral History of The Office” on Spotify? It is a fantastic listen, with interviews with every major cast members, creator, show runner, and director. It will put a lump in your throat and a smile on your face, guaranteed. Listen if only to hear Kevin not sound like Kevin.

Fifteen years ago, the American television landscape changed forever with the launch of a new series that struggled initially, but became one of television's most beloved and enduring comedies. "An Oral History of The Office" pulls back the curtain on what went into creating this unstoppable force in American popular culture and why it continues to resonate with new audiences today.

Happy weekend, friends - I hope you spend the weekend celebrating the love in your life, both big and small. I’m certainly grateful for you. ❤️

I Voted. Here’s Why.

The truth is, I hesitated to post about the election. Things are so very polarized, and it’s so important to me that this space remain one in which people feel respected, considered, and loved. 

And as much as I fear anyone ever taking something I say personally or not the way I meant it (and I fear it a lot, like...had months of anxiety in 2018 because of it “a lot”), even stronger than the fear is a feeling in my gut that I want to make my stance in this race known. Not because I’m deluded enough to believe that anybody is waiting on pins and needles, but because when I started blogging a million years ago on a LiveJournal (shoutout to my homies from 2005 who also had a lot of feelings!), it was just a collection of my thoughts. For whatever else this blog has turned into, that’s still what it is. 

This little piece isn’t meant to convince you, or shame you if you don’t agree with me - if you’ve read my blog long enough, you (hopefully) know that that’s not my style. So not my style, in fact, that last week I published this piece to help you make your own decision regardless of my own biases - I believe in informed, smart voting, no matter what the vote being cast reflects. Instead, it’s simply to tell you what’s going on in my head and heart. 

So here’s what I think. 

When Donald Trump was elected in 2016, I wrote this piece. I try to come from a place of “calm now, panic later if and when we actually should.” It bothers me when people panic, and In response to the massive panic that took place after Trump’s election, I found myself desperately searching for steadiness and pragmatism. 

The piece is called “It’s Going To Be Okay, But First:” and was filled with data, and mourning, but ultimately, with hope. 

The thing is, as pragmatic a non-panicked person as I try to be, it was not okay. Not okay for so many people and in so many ways.

And I don’t say that because “my team” lost the 2016 election. I’m perfectly used to losing.

I’m an Auburn fan.

It’s because the man who won the election seems devoid of a moral compass, or compassion, or the other things that we hold as imperatives for our role models. 

Though Maya Angelou taught us the old chestnut, “When people show you who they are, believe them,” I still manage to find myself shocked and devastated by his lack of integrity or willingness to lead with anything that resembles dignity, or humility. There are a few lessons that my dad taught me growing up which I wrote down in a notebook and never forgot. One of them is, “Good leaders take the blame and share the credit.” I can’t remember a time that President Trump has taken the heat for making a mistake, or that he’s deflected praise (even if well-earned) to another deserving person. 

All politicians are desperate to be loved, and all of them say things that are flat out wrong or stupid every now and again. Though I loved President Obama, he made mistakes. Everyone does. Unless you’re looking to hate someone, we can all offer a bit of grace to each other in those moments. But instead of an occasional misstep or gaffe, we’ve been living for the last four years with a President who actively mis-leads the American public. Who says things that are not true, even while he knows they’re not true as he’s saying them. Can we pause and just sit with that for a moment? Because if you’re like me, you’ve had to compartmentalize that truth in order to keep your head above water and believe that better times were ahead. The idea that I haven’t watched more than a handful of Presidential addresses, press conferences, State of the Unions...all because I knew I couldn’t trust what I was hearing, from the President of the United States - that feels heavy and awful to me. 

In the midst of all those other thoughts, as I sat down to write this, I found myself thinking mostly about the unpredictability of life. 

If the insane, Michael Bay-worthy mess that is 2020 has taught us anything, it’s that nothing is certain. Life can change in a snap. When Mac was born in December of 2017, our families poured into the hospital room, armed with hot chocolate and flowers. When Rosie was born at the height of the first wave in April 2020, we introduced her to our parents over Facetime. 

Life is very precious, and though we’re resilient as hell, very fragile. And when I thought about the issues surrounding this and all elections, the term “pro-life” began to form new meaning. 

I believe in the sanctity of human and animal life. I try my very best to catch and release bugs in my house. Sometimes, I admit, they do get squished in the transfer from trapped under a glass to the yard - but the intention is there. On my best days, I’m a vegetarian, although sometimes a cheeseburger tempts me away from that position. 

But there are some positions on which I never waver. 

I am, and have always been, anti-capital punishment and anti-war. I don’t think that committing a crime means your life is less valuable; the religion I subscribe to does not teach that. I believe that children are sacred, precious miracles and deserve to be born into a world that is ready to provide basic needs for them, rather than born for the sake of upholding an obligation, then abandoned by an administration who does not believe housing is a human right. I believe in the sacredness of a mother’s life, and that while she is pregnant, she deserves affordable healthcare and nutrition. I believe in the sacredness of the lives of Black women, who are disproportionately sick and dying in childbirth because of statistically proven systemic racism and pre-existing conditions that this administration seeks to punish. 

I am “pro-life” when it comes to poor people who have been losing their homes, whose children are hungry because this administration put ego before science and failed to save them. I think the lives of immigrant families and children are just as important as my own, and I find the practice of separating children from their parents, allowing them to get sick and die in isolation from their caretakers to be not only monstrous and horrific, but grieving to the heart of the God who sees all life as having been created on a singular and pristinely valuable plane. I am pro-life when Black men and women killed by people whose job title is “law enforcement.” I am pro-200,000+ lives lost in this pandemic, an unknowable number of which may have been spared had we simply stuck to a plan and listened to people who’ve made it their life’s work to know exactly how to respond in just such a situation. 

I support the lives of children in our public education system, one of whom once asked me, “Can you get pregnant from oral sex?” because the system is failing them to the degree that they have no sex education and therefore are some of the people we’re hypothetically talking about when we discuss abortion in the abstract. I believe that the lives of women everywhere should be held up as heroic, hard-working, beautiful and strong instead of demeaned by crude language and back-room smirks, not because they’re someone’s daughter, sister, or wife, but because they are a person unto themselves. I am pro-human, animal, and plant life, destroyed by a callous disrespect for the wonders of the planet. 

And while I am personally pro-life in the traditional sense of that phrase, in that had I gotten pregnant prior to getting married, I would’ve had that baby, I also will never vote to restrict women’s access to safe, legal abortions. Women will have abortions whether or not they’re legal, and the reasons are wildly varied. I’m not a doctor, and I’ll never understand the position of a woman seeking an abortion because I’ve never lived it. And because I’ve never lived it, all I can do is vote so that medical professionals have the latitude they need to give women a service they know how to advise about and provide, to offer the necessary mental health support, and make birth control affordable. 

Abortion can be terribly upsetting to me, as it can, I imagine, for most mothers to. I feel a lump forming in my throat as I sit here typing these words because of just how potentially devastating, personal, and tender the innumerable circumstances are where an abortion is the outcome. It is complicated. But it isn’t the only thing that matters to me. 

There is no perfect candidate, no perfect person. And still, having gone on record four years ago hoping against hope that it would all shake out in the end - hoping for Donald Trump’s success and wishing him well (because what’s the alternative?), I think there is such a thing as an unacceptable answer, even when given a choice. 

When we’re asked as a country, “Who are you?” we tend to answer in shouts, most of them directed at people who don’t align with us. What if, instead, we answered in whispers in our own hearts; what if we heard “you” in the singular rather than the plural? The voting booth is a private place, and maybe we could also think of it as a holy one - a confessional of sorts. What if we attenuated the scale of our response to that question, “Who are you?” to be just big enough for one ballot, for one conscience? 

(And while we’re talking about religion: I am not confused about whether Donald Trump represents the values of radical love, caretaking, humility, service, inclusion, and justice that are exemplified in my religious tradition by an underdog from Nazareth who was born to a poor, brown, teenage single mother: he does not. I will not allow him to pander to me as a Christian person by posing with a Bible or pretending that being “pro-life” is the same as loving God. Here, he has shown me who he is, and I believe him.)

Regardless of party or precedent, I will always vote for compassion over fear-mongering, for transparency over hubris, for empathy over ego, for softness over hardness. 

Two weeks ago, I proudly cast my vote for a Biden/Harris administration. 

July Q&A

Yet again, I find myself conflicted about doing these - feels kind of vain and weird. BUT, I’m dying to write and blog, and this is a quick and easy post to write that still allows me to get something up while wrangling two children in a quarantine. Insert crazy face here

Here we go!

Q. Where did you get your kids’ names? I love them both!
A. Thank you!! So kind. Jordan and I have had a lot of fun cooking up both names. We talked for hours and hours about what we’d do with each one on long walks during each pregnancy, and eventually narrowed it down to a few options for first and middle that we combined in different ways. We actually would take a dry erase marker and write the combos on our bathroom mirror, then erase each one as we ruled it out until we settled on the ultimate name.

Both children have family names up and down the board. Mac’s full name is Jones McAnnally Scott. Jones is a family name on both Jordan’s and my side, so that pleased both families! McAnnally is my maiden name, and Jordan always joked that if I’d take his name when we got married, we could name our first child using my surname. “Mac” was my nickname in college and is also what everyone calls my paternal grandfather, so it was a tribute to him.

Rosie’s full name is Rosemary Parker Scott. Her namesake is Jordan’s mom’s grandmother Rosie, whose name was actually just “Rosie,” not Rosemary. We debated for a LONG time about whether to go with Rosie on her birth certificate, but in the end decided that it felt appropriate to use a full name rather than a nickname. Parker is my brother’s first name and is a family name on my dad’s side (my grandmother’s mother’s maiden name), and we loved the flow of them both together. We had another name that we almost used, but I don’t want to share it just in case we go for number three one day.

Big Mac and Baby Mac!

Big Mac and Baby Mac!

Q. What made you decide to pump rather than nurse directly? Just curious. No judgment!
Q. Can you share more about your breastfeeding journey and how you’re juggling it with a toddler?
A. No judgment felt! I nursed Mac when he was a baby and around four months, I had a huge drop in my supply when I dropped one of his nighttime feedings. He was crying a lot and taking a lot of (what we thought were) “extra) feedings, and as a first time mom, I didn’t know that the reason he was so fussy was that he was still hungry! I thought I’d been feeding him plenty and that he was just crabby. Cut to his four month appointment when they told me he was actually dropping weight. I felt like such a failure and had really intense feelings of anxiety after that - and getting my supply back up was a HUGE pain in the ass (you can read more about my breastfeeding journey with Mac here).

When Rosie was born, her latch was really shallow from the beginning and she (TMI) tore my breasts up pretty badly in the first few days. I started pumping to give my breasts a break to heal and eventually decided that I wanted to keep pumping in order to both establish my supply AND see how much I was producing/how much she was taking down. It’s definitely a pain some days to pump (I did the math and have pumped almost 900 times since she was born in April), but it alleviates any anxiety about my production and therefore puts me in a much better mental place than I was last time.

As far as juggling it with Mac, I highly recommend getting an electric pump that doesn’t require being plugged into the wall. I can pump in the room with him and it’s no problem. I always make sure to pump 15 minutes ahead of when Rosie actually needs to eat so that I’m not juggling pumping, feeding a baby, AND a toddler (learned that one the hard way). When I need a break, I pump in my bedroom and sit him in front of the TV for a little while.

4 weeks out, just a-pumpin’ away.

4 weeks out, just a-pumpin’ away.

Q: Do you see yourselves staying in Asheville long term, or will you return to Alabama eventually?
A. If you’d asked me a few years ago, I would’ve said we’re definitely moving back to AL. It’s so funny how things evolve. We initially intended to be in Asheville for 2-3 years and in July we celebrated 5 years here with no end in sight. Jordan’s very happy at the practice where he works, and we’ve made such close friends here. My parents have downsized and bought a small home up here so that they could be closer to grandchildren, and we get to visit with Jordan’s family on the Alabama coast (in non-COVID years) every summer and winter, and short weekends here and there. I have to admit - I miss my friends I grew up with terribly, but we all keep in touch and Asheville is a truly beautiful place to live.

Q. How do you get Rosie to sleep independently?
A. She’s certainly not sleeping through the night yet. At only 14 weeks old, I’m still waking up to feed her at 1 AM every night (and pumping every night at 4 AM). But we followed principles that we used last time from Moms on Call - using a tight swaddle, a dark room, and white noise for every nap from the time she was very little. With Mac, I was so rigid about that - rarely let him nap anywhere but his crib in his own room because I wanted to establish good sleep habits. With the benefit of experience, I know now that consistency is really what creates good sleepers, and no matter when you start the process or if you “cheat” a few times by allowing your baby to nap in a car seat or on someone’s chest on the couch, it’s all gonna work out.

Angel.

Angel.

Q. I always wonder about the bears when I see your stories. Have any wandered in when you’re there? I suppose you won’t be able to let your children play unsupervised?
A. That part of living in Asheville has definitely been an adjustment! We almost always are outside with our dog, Tom Hanks, who alerts us to the presence of the bears. Sadly you’re right, we can’t just let our kids out to run around at this point. When they’re older, I’ll feel more comfortable! Mac already knows that if he sees a bear, he needs to slowly back toward the house. We’re working hard to make sure he’s not scared of them, but we want him to respect them and understand that he’s sharing his habitat with them. Thankfully, the bears around here are so used to seeing people that they don’t spook very easily, and the only really dangerous bears are scared bears. (Wilderness PSA: with black bears like we have, if you get in a pinch, you make yourself as big as possible and yell in a deep voice to scare them away. Weirdly, black bears are very unlikely to attack, but if they DO attack, they’re more likely to kill. So if you’re attacked by a black bear, you fight back. With grizzlies, you play dead!)

“My” bear that comes to visit me with her three teeny tiny cubs every week or so.

“My” bear that comes to visit me with her three teeny tiny cubs every week or so.

Q. How do you maintain such a deep and meaningful relationship with your mother?
A. This is such a nice question. My mom (April) and I are extremely close and always have been. We have almost a sisterly banter and report with each other. That said, she IS my mom and has so much to teach me constantly, from principles of service and servant-hearted living to hostessesing to mothering and a lot more. We’re fortunate to have always had an easy relationship I think the thing that keeps us close is that we’re both very honest with each other and careful to tune into each other’s needs. This is more a credit to her than anything, but she has always been very boundary-conscious and never overstays or over-advises. One of the things I’m most grateful for (and will attempt to emulate in my own parenting) is that April is an example, but is never pushy. She will offer her advice, but always says something like, “Whatever you decide, you know the best thing for your family.” We share so many interests and a sense of humor, but the thing that has kept our relationship so strong is that she has believed in me as a person and that’s allowed me to grow, learn from, and lean on her. She is the BEST.

At Mom’s Barre 3 class a few years ago!

At Mom’s Barre 3 class a few years ago!

Q. Would love to hear more about your home design/where you shop and take inspiration from!
A. Again, very nice! Someone once said I had the design aesthetic of a Nordic woman. …okay, sure! For a LONG time I tried to emulate what most people do in the South - almost entirely neutral with a very polished, classic aesthetic. It took me a year or two of of striving for that before I realized that just isn’t me. I kept finding ways for color to creep into a room and then it hit me: I am a color person, not a neutrals person. Once I realized that, the gates flew open and I started actually having fun designing rooms. I keep wanting to do a home tour, but am too lazy to get the photos I need to put that post together. So a lot of my design inspiration comes from in my own head - clean, with big blasts of color, and (especially at this stage of life with two young kids and a black dog that sheds like his life depends on it) very livable.

This is a photo right after I finished this area - since then, I’ve organized the bookshelf to be rainbow-coordinated and put a cute basket in the lower left shelf for Mac’s toy cars.

This is a photo right after I finished this area - since then, I’ve organized the bookshelf to be rainbow-coordinated and put a cute basket in the lower left shelf for Mac’s toy cars.

Q. How did you survive the first few weeks with a baby and a toddler?
A. By giving myself a HUGE break and asking for help as much as possible. HAVING TWO KIDS IS HARD. My stubborn personality forces me to take a lot of things on by myself and push myself too hard to return to a sense of normalcy more quickly than I probably should (ex. I wore pants with a waistband home from a C-section like a true moron). This round, I tried to really allow myself to lean on my mom (who quarantined in Asheville in order to be here to help) and Jordan. I accepted the meal train that was offered without a fight. The first few weeks are REALLY tough - you’re exhausted, you’re trying to learn how to balance both kids, and still attempt to care of yourself. The best advice I have about that time (and it was given to me by other moms who’d done it) is that everything is temporary: the good and the bad. Cherish the precious moments and bear through the hard ones, because nothing is forever. At about 9 weeks, things started to get exponentially easier as I figured out a rhythm and it’s been much better since then!

Q. How do you do your hair? Looks glam?
A. I mean…I don’t even know how to respond except thank you very much. Everybody is different, but one of the things that makes me feel like a humans is to “get ready” every day. Even if that doesn’t happen until 10 AM, I still get a shower and put on makeup (and try to do something with my hair) on a daily basis. Otherwise it can feel like my whole day is devoted to other people with no care for myself. I also just like to play with hair - it makes me happy!

I made this video a couple of years ago about how I curl my hair, and then I put together this post about how to make those curls last as long as possible! I also bought a hairdryer/brush combo from Amazon that is amazing and helps smooth my blowouts - along with this magic product called “COLOR WOW Dream Coat” that is supposedly used by the Kardashians for their super shine. (I do not love the Kardashians, but they have great hair.)

Hair courtesy of the styling tips in the video I linked!

Hair courtesy of the styling tips in the video I linked!

Q. How many kids do you and your husband want?
A. Jordan jokes this pregnancy was “his last.” AKA, I was kind of a pain in the ass. Rude.

The real answer is that I don’t know! Jordan comes from a family with three children and so do both my parents, so I’ve always thought three was a fun number. But for now, I’m very happy to have a sweet boy and a girl and am just enjoying the idea of NOT being pregnant for a while.

Q. What made you start tackling big topics like vaccines on your blog?
A. The things I’ve written about in depth (homosexuality and the Bible, vaccines, and purity culture) are things that I felt super curious about and simply wanted to be better informed about myself. In the process of researching them, it occurred to me that there might be other women out there who were also curious. I always try to write those pieces from a place of neutrality and respect for people with views from all sides. It’s really fun for me to imagine that people from different political ilk can feel at home on my blog; that no one feels attacked or singled out is important to me. More than anything, I think access to good, unbiased information is so important for women as we make decisions about what’s important to us. I’m no news outlet, but I pride myself in providing that.

Q. What women in your life helped you to balance the fire (convictions/opinions) and grace?
A. What a cool question. My paternal grandmother (Nonnie) is a great example of that balance - she has deeply held beliefs, but she is so open-hearted that her expressions of those beliefs always feel so nurturing and kind. I think it’s really hard to find people like that. The women in my life (whether I know them personally or not) who I most admire have that kind of spiritual tenacity but graciousness of spirit in common: Michelle Obama, Sarah Jessica Parker, Dolly Parton, my mom, grandmothers, the list goes on. It’s probably the quality I value most in other women.

Nonnie and Baby Mac when he was about a year old!

Nonnie and Baby Mac when he was about a year old!